We (I mean the count's domestics and baggage) were attended throughout the march by a small escort of Polish dragoons. I mention this fact, because the wife of one of the party acted as a sort of sutler to the cavalcade, and by the oddity of her appearance, as well as the strangeness of her proceedings, was the occasion of a good deal of merriment and some wonder. She was singularly short, and happened to be in a state when women in general avoid horse exercise. Yet there she was, day after day, mounted cross-legged on a brute at least seventeen hands high, and laden with eggs, bottles, and glasses, out of which she dispensed, with a liberal hand, Cognac to such as required it. One day we missed her from her accustomed place. The cavalcade set forward, and she went not with it; ay, and more extraordinary still, when the halting hour came, the Circular Pole, as we called her, failed to make her appearance; so we were forced to get our schnaps, sorely against our will, at the auberge. In like manner the march of the following day began, without restoring us to our Hebe; and something like anxiety was rising among us, when all at once there was seen in the rear a tall horse at a swinging trot, and a human form, or else that of a baboon, perched upon its back. The question of humanity did not, however, remain unsolved long after the apparition arrived within ear-shot; for the old cry, “Boir, boir, monsieurs, ein glass brande-wine,” soon told us that our old friend was still in the land of the living. Nor did she come alone: strapped upon her back, like a bundle of rags, was a thumping boy, which in the stable of the last halting-place had first seen the light; and which, as well as its mother, showed that it was sound in wind, whatever might be the case as to limbs. I confess that I was astounded; yet what will not Nature do when circumstances make extraordinary demands on her?

In this manner we passed the fortresses of Cambray, Valenciennes, and Avesnes, at the latter of which my fellow-servants and I came to an open rupture. They had never forgiven me the favour which our common master showed me, and here they made up their minds to let me feel the extent of their vengeance. It happened, either by accident or design, that the coachman, after washing the carriage, placed it exactly across my stable door, so that I could neither get access to the horses nor lead them out to water. I could not suppose that there was design in the matter, neither did I care to put his good humour to the test by begging him to remove it; so I wheeled it on one side with my own hands, and proceeded to arrange the horses. My work was yet incomplete, when forth from the house rushed my comrades: the valet took the lead, and a volley of abuse was instantly heaped upon me. At first I kept my temper wonderfully. I asked them what was wrong, and received in reply only fresh abuse; till, by-and-by, my anger was in its turn kindled, and I told the valet that, if he were not an old man, I would wring his nose from his face. "Would you?" cried he, "we'll see." So saying, he ran aside, armed himself with a sword, and advanced towards me in a menacing attitude. I was very much irritated, dashed into the stable, got a good broom-handle, and rushing out, prepared to do battle; but lo! my enemy was gone. I searched for him everywhere, but in vain; till at last a thought striking me that he might have ensconced himself in the carriage, I wrenched open one of the doors, and he leaped out through the other. Away he ran across a meadow, still carrying with him the naked sword, and away I set in pursuit; till, coming up with him, I knocked the weapon out of his hand, and laid him sprawling on the grass. He now cried for quarter, and I gave it; as, indeed, after soundly rating them all, I extended my forgiveness to the rest of the household; and it is but fair to add, that, having amply apologised, and promised better behaviour in the time to come, they conducted themselves towards me ever afterwards with the greatest good feeling and attention.

We did not enter Paris, but leaving it on one side, took the road by Liège, and through Brabant, towards Aix-la-Chapelle. It seemed to me as if a perpetual carnival were established. The villages, as we traversed them, were all alive with the gaieties and dissipations of a fair; and strange to say, the occurrence of each festival seemed to keep pace with our arrival at the scene of the merry-making. I was greatly pleased with all that I saw, and enjoyed both the bustle of Liège, where there are extensive iron-works, and the monastic gravity of Aix-la-Chapelle, where Napoleon's mother kept, in my day, a species of court, and divided with the tomb of Charlemagne the notice of strangers. The people did not speak in very favourable terms of her whom they described as the empress-mother. On the contrary, they represented her to be avaricious in the extreme; so much so, indeed, as to visit the market in person, and cheapen the articles that might be needed for her own household consumption.* But the circumstance which most of all gave to Aix-la-Chapelle its claims upon my notice was, that here the count, who had rejoined us near Paris, met, for the first time after three years' absence, his wife and family. And a very joyful greeting it was; for the countess came, with her two daughters and her sister, to welcome her lord to his home, and a happier group it has seldom been my fortune to witness in any part of the world.
 

* The Light Dragoon's observations agree in every respect with what higher and better authority has told us. Napoleon's mother was very stingy; yet there was a spirit of rationalism in it too. "You wish me to spend more money," was her answer to many who complained. "No, I will not. I shall have all these kings (meaning her sons) to support yet."
 

We spent a couple of days at Aix-la-Chapelle, in order that the count and the countess might, according to etiquette, pay their respects to the empress-mother; after which we proceeded to Brael–for such was the name of my master's château, and of the grounds attached to it. The former was a baronial castle, moated and drawbridged as in ancient times, of prodigious extent, and confronted by stabling and coach-houses, where a hundred horses with a dozen of carriages might have been bestowed. The farm-yard was also capacious, and contained draught horses, cows, bulls, pigs, poultry, and all the usual appliances of a country-house, in abundance. So also the gardens, the orchards, and the woods were extensive; yet over the whole hung an air of neglect and desolation, such as bespoke a family in decay, or suffering from extreme mismanagement in its affairs. I have reason to believe that to the latter cause, rather than to the encroachments of time or public calamity, the dilapidated condition of Brael was owing; for the late count had, it appeared, nominated his widow to be the guardian of the property during his son's absence; and the widow, being a woman of very irregular habits, cruelly abused the trust. The consequence was, that, when making a tour of the castle, I found myself wandering from one unfurnished room to another; the very pictures themselves having been removed from the walls and sold, in order that means might be provided for the indulgence of her passion for gaming. I never shall forget the expression of the count's face when this scene of waste and desolation opened upon him. Not even the consciousness that he was again in the bosom of his family seemed for a while to afford him any relief: indeed, I was half tempted to wonder that he did not apply to be sent back to his regiment, that, in the excitement and hurry of active service, his private mortifications might be forgotten.

The count was too little satisfied with his dilapidated and unfurnished castle to make there any lengthened stay; yet a strong sense of duty urged him to visit his mother, who dwelt in another château, likewise his property, at the distance of five leagues from Brael. It was called Bolingdorf; and thither, at the expiration of a few days, we proceeded. The old lady, eccentric in the extreme, gave us but a cool reception. We abode with her, nevertheless, upwards of a week, and greatly delighted the peasants and retainers by our display both of pomp and liberality: for the count, arraying his domestics in new liveries, rode to church in state, and gave a grand supper, to which a ball succeeded, in the largest of the barns that adjoined the mansion. Going to church in state, however, much more feasting the lowly on costly viands were not at all in the countess's way; so she and her son were not slow in discovering that one house would be too small to contain them both. Wherefore our family removed to my master's town-house in Dusseldorf; and there, not unpleasantly, about a year of my existence was spent.

Having now exchanged the condition of a soldier for that of a domestic in a private family, my readers will probably agree with me in opinion, that our wisest course will be, not to adhere any longer to the form of a connected narrative, but simply to describe such occurrences as from time to time befel–to which at the moment some measure of interest was attached, and of which the remembrance is still cherished. Let me, then, begin by stating that the year which I spent in the neighbourhood of the Rhine was that which witnessed the infliction of the first great blow upon the colossal empire of Napoleon. The Russian campaign was begun, and the drain of men and horses, not upon France alone, but upon all the States subject to French influence, was terrible. Among other districts, the duchy of Berg, of which Dusseldorf is the capital, received orders, early in 1813, to supply the grand army with a reinforcement of five thousand infantry and five hundred cavalry. Instantly the conscription was called into play. Berg had already been pretty well denuded of the stoutest and most active of its youth; but the present demand was peremptory, and was carried out in total disregard of mercy. Accordingly, the names of all the male inhabitants between the ages of fifteen and fifty being already in the keeping of the proper authorities, a sort of lottery-drawing took place, and forth from the city went the gendarmes in every direction to secure their prizes. It was shocking to see the poor wretches brought in, twenty or thirty in a string, tied round the neck with one cord, the end of which was fastened to a mounted policeman's saddle. And then for their lodging they had a particular barrack, being well and rigidly guarded there by a body of old French soldiers, every effort to corrupt whose fidelity proved as fruitless as were the endeavours to elude or deceive their vigilance. Once, and once only, a band of conscripts contrived, by rising suddenly upon the guard, to break through the barrier; of whom about two hundred effected their escape; but even they, after wandering some days in the woods, were glad to give themselves up again; for the authorities having taken care to register each conscript as he came in, noting down the exact name and residence of his father and mother, the conscript himself became from that instant a mere instrument in their hands. Had he deserted, they did not care so much as to look for him; but they sent a patrol to his father's house, seized the old man, threw him into prison, and kept him there till his son came back to his standard. There was not one of all the two hundred fugitives who was not by these means recovered: for filial piety was in those days an active principle in Germany, nor was its power to influence the behaviour of individuals ever more clearly shown than in the case of which I am now speaking.

Such was the process by which five thousand men were, in the space of a few days, brought together. To collect the horses a device not less summary was adopted. Wherever the police agents saw within the duchy an animal which seemed to be fit for military service, they, without inquiring into its age or capabilities, seized it. The proprietor might complain, but who regarded him? He received, in compensation for the loss of his beast, an order upon the treasury for seven pounds sterling, which, in ninety-nine instances out of a hundred, proved to be worth its value in paper, and no more.

The men and horses being gathered together, the next thing was to officer and drill them; the former of which measures was carried out, at least in the cavalry, by breaking up the skeleton of a lancer regiment which had served in Spain, and distributing the troopers, as captains, lieutenants, and sub-lieutenants, throughout the newly-raised levy. With respect again to the infantry, I believe that an attempt was made to place them under the command of those of their own countrymen to whom in civil life they had been accustomed to look up; but it very imperfectly succeeded. Be this, however, as it may, three short weeks were all that could be granted for organizing and training the recruits; at the termination of which the whole were pronounced fit for service, and received the rout to march into Russia. Surely there never took the field such a body of cavalry; for the men were incapable of sitting their horses, and the horses unbroken to obey the bridle, far less the sound of the trumpet; and as to the infantry, they could prime and load, certainly, and fire, and load again; but of the evolutions of a common company's parade they knew nothing. Still the cry for men was great at headquarters, and the order was issued for the Bergers to march, after their officers should have presented themselves at a grand entertainment which General Travier, the individual appointed by the authorities at Paris to superintend the equipment of the levies in this quarter, had determined to give.

I was present at the dinner, my master, Count Golstein, having purposely desired me to wait upon himself; and a scene more perfectly ludicrous, more unlike to every thing of the sort which I had ever witnessed before, never, I must admit, passed under my observation. At the upper table, where sat General Travier, my master, the civil and military authorities of the place, and several men of rank from the neighbouring districts, matters went forward pretty much as at public dinners they are wont to do; but among the gentry who crowded the long tables that stretched from one end of the hall to the other, a widely different state of things prevailed. There was scrambling and pushing while the viands were before them,--one was heaping an entire dish of vegetables on his plate, another seizing and keeping possession of a joint or a stew. This gallant captain upset a butter-boat in his neighbour's lap,--that newly-fledged lieutenant poured a jug of gravy over the shoulder of his friend beside him. It was everywhere "make sure of what you can reach, and never think of asking whether any body would like to share it with you." And then, when the process of giving toasts began, surely no caricaturist, in the most extravagant flight of his fancy, ever imagined aught so grotesque. General Travier, to be sure, pledged the emperor with great spirit; and, though not one in twenty understood a word of what he said, was greeted, till he sat down, with cheers. Then followed "Success to the grand army," which was prefaced by an assurance that "the gentlemen whom he had the honour to address were fortunate men, inasmuch as they were about to march to certain glory, of which the fruits would be a speedy advancement to rank, distinctions, and wealth." That, too, was cheered, not least vociferously by those who could not comprehend a syllable of the argument which the eloquent speaker laboured to establish. But by-and-by wilder and louder words were heard. The gentlemen at the lower tables, conceiving that time was precious, helped themselves in bumpers, and soon got drunk; whereupon the occupants of the high table withdrew; and even my disposition to laugh gradually exchanged itself for a sense of deep disgust, and I, though nowise required to do so, followed my master.

Next morning, at seven o'clock, five thousand Berger infantry, and five hundred cavalry, began their march towards Russia. It was a piteous spectacle that,--for wives, and mothers, and sisters threw themselves wildly into the ranks, and the sound of lamentation rose high above the notes of martial music. But what availed it? The decree had gone forth,--the ill-fated conscripts held their way,--and few, if any, ever returned to tell how it fared with them amid the snows and frosts of Muscovy.

As the act of organizing this corps kept Dusseldorf in a state of extreme bustle, so the stillness that prevailed after the troops had marched struck me as something awful. You saw no human beings in the streets except women and children. Even the old men were few in number; for the conscription, like the standard of height, was often stretched; and they, like the women, seemed to be fairly bowed down with sorrow for the loss of their offspring. Every occurrence, therefore, which promised in any way to break in upon the gloom of total inaction was hailed, at least by me, as a relief; and two there did occur, very different in themselves to be sure, yet both so striking that I cannot think of passing them by unnoticed.

The first was the execution of a woman and her paramour for the murder of the husband of the former. The deceased had, it appeared, by frugality and ceaseless labour, contrived to amass some money as a maker of brooms, which brooms he was in the habit of cutting in a wood not far from the city. He, therefore, finding years increase upon him, hired a man to assist him, and his wife proceeded to form with that person an illicit connexion. They say that Love is blind, and, without all doubt, he showed himself, in this instance, to be at least fearfully shortsighted; for while the frail fair one was really a handsome woman, the gallant, if not absolutely deformed, was but by a hairbreadth removed from deformity. Nevertheless he had charms in the eyes of the broom-maker's wife, so irresistible, that at last it was agreed between them that the husband should be put out of the way.

The poor man was missed; but as his wife represented him to have gone on a visit to some relatives at a distance nobody inquired further, and for several weeks all went on smoothly. At the termination of this interval, however, a body was found, very much decomposed, yet distinguishable as that of the broom-maker, floating on the surface of a pond or small lake, which lay deep in the forest whence his bosoms used to be drawn. It was immediately conveyed into the city, and the woman and her lover being arrested, arrangements were made for putting them on their trial. How closely does the eye of Providence watch over the life of man; and how rarely are they who shed man's blood permitted to escape. Two children, the eldest only eleven years old, had, as it now came out, been spectators of the butchery. They saw the old man--for he was full sixty years of age--come, with his journeyman and his wife, to his accustomed spot, and stoop down, as he was wont to do, for the purpose of cutting the heather where it was longest. He was thus employed when his servant stole behind and felled him to the ground with a blow from a bludgeon. The blows were repeated till his victim ceased to struggle; and then he, with his paramour, dragged the body to the edge of the pond and threw it in. But life, as it appeared, had not been extinguished; for the guilty pair turning round, after they had proceeded some way from the spot, beheld their victim dragging himself towards the shore, by means of the bulrushes which grew in large quantities round the edges of the pond. Instantly the woman turned back, and, seizing a broom-handle, she pushed her husband back into the water, and held him under till he expired.

These facts having been proved at the trial, there could, of course, be no doubt as to the nature of the sentence. Both criminals were condemned to be guillotined; but as it was necessary in those days to get the sentence of death confirmed at Paris, several weeks elapsed ere the wretched pair were taught that with them the business of the world was ended. The woman, I was assured, made very strenuous efforts to obtain, if not a pardon, at least a commutation of her sentence. She offered to pay as much as ten thousand dollars into the imperial treasury. Yet the emperor, or his representatives, though sorely pressed for the sinews of war, refused, point blank, to have any dealings with her. Accordingly the day was fixed, and at the time appointed she and her partner in crime were brought from the prison to the scaffold, each in an open cart, and each attended by a priest, who seemed, to do him justice, most assiduous in the discharge of his duty. The wretched woman looked to her spiritual comforter with attention. Her whole demeanour, likewise, was that of one who knows that it is the reverse of a light matter to die; whereas the man, either from ignorance, or because he was more master of himself, exhibited no symptoms at all of concern. Both were, however, firm; nor did she, even when the executioner stripped her to the waist, shrink from her doom. But I must not go on. It is a horrible species of punishment. Easy it may be to the delinquent, when compared with strangulation; but on the spectator the effect is far more disgusting: for there is something frightful in the literal shedding of blood, especially as by the guillotine it is shed--in torrents. Let me, then, be content to state, that in three seconds after they had been fastened to the machine they lay before us, successively, headless trunks; while we, or at least I, turned away, utterly sickened by the spectacle of which I had been the witness.

The second anecdote which I undertook to repeat has reference to a phenomenon on which, for aught I know to the contrary, may be founded the well-known legend which records the destruction of a tyrannical chief in his own castle, on the Rhine, by an inroad of rats. The country about Dusseldorf is subject to periodical visitations from myriads of field-mice. These tiny marauders advance in such numbers, that every effort to destroy them fails; and wherever they go they mow down the standing wheat before them, as surely and wellnigh as quickly, as a band of reapers. They feed entirely on the roots of the stalk; and, grubbing for their food, while the stalk is yet green, they utterly destroy as they go forward. Moreover, they can neither be arrested nor turned out of their direct route; but forward they go, like the hurricane, in a straight line, and their operations are scarcely than the hurricane less destructive. I tried to persuade the people that, if they would only dig a deep and wide trench across the field, the small marauders would be stopped; but they paid no attention to me. And the consequence was, that, throughout a space of several miles,--on a plateau not very wide, to be sure, but exceedingly fertile,--all the labours of the seed-time were rendered profitless, and the husbandmen entirely cheated of their harvest. At last the army of foragers reached a running stream, which they could not pass; and I believe that, in their efforts to do so, they all perished.

The people of Berg are very superstitious, and, in one sense of the phrase, extremely philosophical. No sooner were the mice gone, than they set about collecting the damaged grain, laying it up as forage for the cattle during the winter. And, while they shrugged their shoulders, and declared that the visitation came from God, and could not, therefore, be avoided, they comforted themselves by the anticipation of a crop, tenfold more abundant than that which had been lost, on the following autumn. I have reason to believe that the calculation in question never fails them. Whether it is that the mice manure the land as they go on, or that the removal of the grain by the process of mining spares the soil more than if it were reaped, I cannot pretend to say; but experience has shown, that the season immediately succeeding that of a visitation of the sort is invariably more prolific, by many degrees, than the seasons usually are. So bountiful is nature in all her arrangements, even when she seems at times to have declared war against us.

Time passed; and each new week--I might have said each new day--beheld detachment after detachment arrive from the interior of France, halt to organize itself, and provide horses for the conveyance of its baggage, and then push on, as the event proved, to certain destruction. Every animal that could move or carry a load, be it ever so trifling, was, of course, taken up, and my kind master, among others, parted with all his stud, leaving me, for the first time, since I joined him, entirely destitute of employment. It was under these circumstances, and with his entire approbation, that I consented to transfer my services to an English family, called Grainger, then resident in the place, and with them for a while I lived in great comfort, albeit certainly not in idleness. But the crisis had come, on which, at a period not remote, he would have been accounted insane who should have reckoned; and bands of stragglers, making their way back to their homes, told us of the entire overthrow of the grand army. The battle of Leipsic was fought; and the wreck of the combatants might, it appeared, be expected in full retreat for the Rhine, which they desired to interpose between themselves and their pursuers. Moreover, the vigilance of the French in guarding their prisoners, as well on the German as on the opposite side of the river, seemed to relax; and, one after another, the captives regained their freedom, though not without the endurance of much suffering. I remember one bitter cold day, in the depth of the winter of 1813-14, going out early in the morning for the purpose of washing the carriage, and encountering at the yard-gate a spectacle which greatly interested me. It was a young man, dripping with wet, from whose person the icicles were hanging, and who earnestly besought me to tell whether there was not an Englishman in the place. After a little discussion, I made myself known, and learned that he, a countryman of my own, with three others, had escaped from a depot of prisoners on the other side, and, swimming the Rhine, were now all but dead from cold, having crouched together throughout the night in a gravel-pit. I took them in, as may be supposed, carried them to the servants' hall, lighted a good fire in the stove, and from my own wardrobe supplied them with a change of dress. My master likewise behaved to them with great kindness; and, concealing them for a while, we eventually contrived to pass them on, by a route which secured to them a good chance of reaching England in safety. They had, it appeared, been mates of merchant-vessels, in which capacity they were taken; and the name of one was Robinson, from Tooley-street, in the Borough. I cannot recall to my remembrance the precise channel through which intelligence of their safe return to London reached me; yet I know that they did escape in a smuggler from Holland. I hope that they have since prospered.

The Englishmen were scarcely gone, when evidences, more and more conclusive, of the turn which affairs had taken at Napoleon's head-quarters, began everywhere to exhibit themselves. Rumour after rumour came in of fresh disasters sustained, and of a universal disposition exhibiting itself throughout the whole of the Rhenish provinces, to rise against the iron yoke under which they had so long lain. The people, indeed, were everywhere eager to be led against their oppressors; but chiefs to direct the insurrection were wanting, and the consequence was, that an outbreak which occurred at Elberfeldt was put down, with great loss to the insurgents. It was determined, also, by the victors to make an example of four of the ringleaders, by putting
them publicly to death in the four most populous towns in the district; and one, an unfortunate weaver, was brought to Dusseldorf, that he might there undergo the sentence which a court-martial had awarded. I went to the great square, for the purpose of witnessing his execution; and a very shocking sight it was. The poor man, who had been wounded in the battle, was carried upon a sort of litter, by four French grenadiers, and laid down in the market-place, scarcely if at all conscious of what was going on. A coffin had already been prepared for him, and he was thrown on the ground beside it; in which attitude he was shot, I verily believe, after the breath had gone forth from the body. Neither this barbarous act, however, nor many more of a like nature, sufficed to stem the tide of events, which swept irresistibly onwards. The period of French domination was come, and the lapse of a few days made all parties, whether friends or foes, aware of the fact.

While I was looking, like all around me, for what each new day might bring forth, I chanced, once upon a time, to pass through the market-place, where I encountered a man leading a mule by the halter, whom I felt myself irresistibly compelled to examine closely. My surprise may be imagined, when I recognised, in the squalid object before me, the same Joseph, who, on my first capture in Spain, had behaved to me with so much kindness. He had, it appeared, followed his master all the way to Moscow, and shared in the hardships of the subsequent retreat, at some stage in which the General was wounded, and sent on, with others in a similar plight, to France. Joseph, however, did not accompany him, but marched with his mule, throughout that inclement season, which cost the invaders of Russia so many lives, and utterly destroyed the French army. I took him to my home, of course, and strongly urged his making his way to England through Holland; but he refused to act on my advice. "The mule is loaded with my master's property," said he, "and I cannot bear the thought of wronging him of one fragment of it. I will take my chance, penetrate into France, and, having delivered it up, return home as I best can." There was no blaming him for acting on a principle of such perfect honesty, so I contented myself with giving him a share of my worldly goods, and recommending him to keep well ahead of the retreating army, I saw him to the edge of the Rhine, and there took leave of him.

I had just parted from Joseph, when I learned from some market-people that a corps of French troops was in full march towards the town. About noon they arrived, some six or seven hundred in number, bringing with them two eight-pounders and a howitzer. They encamped outside the barrier, whither, with many more, I went to see them. Never have I beheld troops in such a pitiable plight. Their arms, I believe, were serviceable enough, but their clothes were all in tatters; and their frames, emaciated from constant fatigue, and the absence of regularity in their diet, seemed altogether unequal to any further exertion. Their morale, likewise, appeared to be affected almost in an equal degree with their physical powers, for the very name of a Cossack made them shudder, and they were evidently incapable of showing any steady front, if attacked. Nor, indeed, was it intended that they should attempt a stand on this side of the Rhine, the object of their movement on Dusseldorf being to get possession of the flying bridge, and to carry that, with every boat and barge that lay near, out of the reach of their pursuers. Accordingly, after a halt of a few days, during which period Buonaparte with his staff and body-guard arrived, and a regiment of cavalry with some more infantry joined them, the whole moved off without having offered to the town the slightest molestation, and established themselves in a camp which had already been formed along the farther bank, and from which both they and their leaders hoped to guard effectually against the passage of the Rhine by the Allies.